Emotions Serve a Purpose, They are a Symptom…

So many people run from their anger. What if instead we turned toward it and asked why it’s here?

In a culture that loves to label good or bad, black or white, we do this with our emotions as well. Anger is not good or bad. It is another emotion that we need to feel and understand. In fact we can use our anger to move us toward a life we want.

You can do so much with your anger. Sometimes anger motivates you, sometimes it drives you to do the things, and sometimes it protects. None of this is bad, in itself. In fact we use it to motivate ourselves all the time, even if we aren’t always mindful of it.

I’m angry sometimes, that is an okay way to be, and if one more man tells me to calm down, think positively, life is beautiful, I would definitely walk away because what is wrong with people sometimes? Side note- I really cannot recall one time a woman has used these words with me: calm down. 🤔

However, I do agree life is beautiful, often I feel grateful for the beauty of nature and to be around my peeps. Yet, I am also angry at times, for the injustices our poor children have to face on a daily basis. This gives me energy to write or ask someone questions that may lead to more moving forward changes.

Many people have a right to be angry in this country right now, especially given that 1% of this population holds 99% of the power.(pause , reflect on this)

And then a big part of the population thinks they have some power (which, not really) and use it over anyone with less power than them(power and privilege wise) and so on and so on.

That’s why I guess I can sound angry. I’m lovingly angry with my fellow human beings many times. I can use that anger to write and create. I can use it to realize I was wrong sometimes, it’s needed.

I decided, that anger is no worse than joy , it is a feeling that needs addressed for a reason. What we do with those feelings, is what causes the stuckness. It is the choices we make in those moments that we feel either anger, joy, sadness, fear, or any other feelings people have. (The human experience)

We know in the present moment if we are being our true self, by how it feels in our body. If it feels tight, then stop, pull back and ask why it feels this way. Ask do I value my relationship (with myself or others) right now more, or is my goofy ego more important? (I wish I could say I always do this, I don’t, I’m a work in progress).

I think we get stuck because we have been taught that our anger is not okay. Some people stuff it down. But without acknowledging it, we aren’t meeting the need the anger is trying to tell us.

Why are we angry? Because you didn’t get the promotion?, someone yelled at you?, you just lost a loved pet, you just thought about a beautiful time with a loved one who isn’t with you anymore? All of those things perhaps, it’s alot…

Sometimes, it’s shame disguised as anger. Sometimes people take their shame and throw it at other groups of people with so much hate.

You see, when we acknowledge our anger, we often realize it’s sadness, or hurt, an emotional injury that needs care.

Anger is okay, hurting people and taking power and control from fellow humans is not. Sadness is okay, cry your tears, ball and yell, and work through that pain, let someone work through their pain while you look into their eyes and tell them you are there to listen, if you can and if you can’t , try to be compassionate.

The storm will pass, but it’s a little nicer to know your not alone while she blows.

*also if a guy tells me that a woman was angry or hysterical it doesn’t actually mean she was. Ask yourself, maybe she was just being assertive with someone who needed it? How many women have endured so much because they were trying to be assertive in a world that tells them it isn’t allowed by her? How many women have been mislabeled by a culture who doesn’t allow a woman to process her stuff without being shamed? Let them be angry and sad and hurt, so they can grow and help you grow. With love and kindness- Aarika Gonzalez Lcsw